Ugene Poem Learning Story

Purpose:To describe the cloud in personification

Emotional Cloud:

My happiness is sadness,

My goal is destructive,

My emotions change in a second,

I am frightening to people,

But to others I’m normal,

My  inside is joy,

My  outside is anger,

My tears fall to the ground as light hits,

The way I strike when I am angry,

Gives people a scared feeling,

Leaving them blankless,

No word spoken,

No noise to be heard,

Silence is what I have earned,

But when I am happy and feeling funny,

My anger goes away and out comes the inside me.

I was good at using powerful words e.g destructive

I can use personification for e.g My  inside is joy,

My  outside is anger.

I got better at using personification becaused I used it alot in my writing.

It was hard to make the cloud into personification because I don't usually use it.

I feel frustrated when I'm writing my poem because it's hard coming up with ideas.

My next steps are to use personification more so I can get better at it.

I used the key competency on thinking so I came up with good ideas.

Feedback: Kia ora Sophie and Ugene. I like the way you have chosen to write in first person eg. from the cloud's perspective. Your choice of words has given your reader clear idea of what your cloud might look like and how it is feeling. You have also chosen a clever way of structuring your poem and used commas really well in a way that helps your reader. Tino pai team. Next steps... think about a title for your poem, think about what purpose you are trying to achieve and have this written above your poem, you could also look into using some more metaphors or similes, or having a think about the success criteria of showing not telling and how this could transform a few of the descriptions you have. Clever writing you two. You have a really good understanding of the idea of personification.